High Heels of Hell
As I am sitting here at work, flooded by excel sheets, I sit here and
wonder about the rest of my life. Will it only be filled with business
suits, excel sheets, and high heels? Its enough to make me want to jump
now.
Speaking of high heels. Have you ever tried to walk in them? I don?t
understand at all how other girls walk so well in them and don?t stomp
around like me. It?s not like I am like?boom boom in my sneakers, but in
high heels, I guess I might be at least 100lb heavier. I strike the ground
so hard. I was trying to walk on my toes and it kind of helped but then it
was so uncomfy and I felt just like Barbie. Yuck. So I guess I put most of
the pressure on my heels when I walk. Seriouslly who created these stupid these.
I wish we went back to the days of court where even guys wore heels, sure they
were shorter but they were still heels ;)
So its kind of hard for me to come to work. I do come and do work and work hard
and try and make sure that I do well. But at the same time, I just depresses
me. This company is not anything that I really believe in but what keeps me
going? and am I strong enough to throw it away. I know that this will ensure my
future, make sure that I never want for anything, never huddle for warmth when
my heat is turned off when I don't pay, or what it feels to be truly hungry,
have people judge me by my clothes.
And those all sound like really great reasons why I should stick with it. But at
the sametime, am I killing myself and am I really challenging myself as I
compete to have the best numbers and suck up the best and network with people....don't know
I really am not hte best at networking. THere's this guy who sits next to me and I feel the most comfy with him cause he's a nerd. Makes me think of Aaron! Ahhh aaron, miss you lots in japan. Yeah but he's a nerd and keeps all these facts and stuff like that ;)
I'm sick and getting worse.
Sometimes I get stuck in the silence. Or I get really comfy in it and suddenly I just don't want to talk. I was thinking...when we open our mouths to talk, its just saying that we know what's going on and we are saying that our opinion matters and will make the difference....but do we ever know and do we really ever have a right to talk.
OH OHOH. So I was talking to stephen last night and he said he was sitting around with a couple of guys and they were talking about how guys don't like to talk on the phone. BUt then he was saying that he usually doesn't but he can talk to Marcia and me for over hours. And Allie was like...man your manhood went from here to here. and I was like...um so that's how its measured eh....But the kicker was then Hugo was like...you know why you can, cause those two are psychatrists. and I started laughing. ANd then I told my mom and she starts cracking up and she's like that....that's why I like talking to you so much.
The phunny thing is that when I was little I thought about being one...but then I decided that I couldn't listen to everyone's problems like that and not get depressed. ;)
call time ;)
wonder about the rest of my life. Will it only be filled with business
suits, excel sheets, and high heels? Its enough to make me want to jump
now.
Speaking of high heels. Have you ever tried to walk in them? I don?t
understand at all how other girls walk so well in them and don?t stomp
around like me. It?s not like I am like?boom boom in my sneakers, but in
high heels, I guess I might be at least 100lb heavier. I strike the ground
so hard. I was trying to walk on my toes and it kind of helped but then it
was so uncomfy and I felt just like Barbie. Yuck. So I guess I put most of
the pressure on my heels when I walk. Seriouslly who created these stupid these.
I wish we went back to the days of court where even guys wore heels, sure they
were shorter but they were still heels ;)
So its kind of hard for me to come to work. I do come and do work and work hard
and try and make sure that I do well. But at the same time, I just depresses
me. This company is not anything that I really believe in but what keeps me
going? and am I strong enough to throw it away. I know that this will ensure my
future, make sure that I never want for anything, never huddle for warmth when
my heat is turned off when I don't pay, or what it feels to be truly hungry,
have people judge me by my clothes.
And those all sound like really great reasons why I should stick with it. But at
the sametime, am I killing myself and am I really challenging myself as I
compete to have the best numbers and suck up the best and network with people....don't know
I really am not hte best at networking. THere's this guy who sits next to me and I feel the most comfy with him cause he's a nerd. Makes me think of Aaron! Ahhh aaron, miss you lots in japan. Yeah but he's a nerd and keeps all these facts and stuff like that ;)
I'm sick and getting worse.
Sometimes I get stuck in the silence. Or I get really comfy in it and suddenly I just don't want to talk. I was thinking...when we open our mouths to talk, its just saying that we know what's going on and we are saying that our opinion matters and will make the difference....but do we ever know and do we really ever have a right to talk.
OH OHOH. So I was talking to stephen last night and he said he was sitting around with a couple of guys and they were talking about how guys don't like to talk on the phone. BUt then he was saying that he usually doesn't but he can talk to Marcia and me for over hours. And Allie was like...man your manhood went from here to here. and I was like...um so that's how its measured eh....But the kicker was then Hugo was like...you know why you can, cause those two are psychatrists. and I started laughing. ANd then I told my mom and she starts cracking up and she's like that....that's why I like talking to you so much.
The phunny thing is that when I was little I thought about being one...but then I decided that I couldn't listen to everyone's problems like that and not get depressed. ;)
call time ;)
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i know you know better than to force yourself down roads you're not meant to travel. a business degree cannot preclude you from attributing the meaning you seek to life.
a life without want does not exist.
you are strong enough.
i recommend pumpkin seeds- iron, lentils- iron, and 梅干し (ume boshi)-vitamin c, for your health!
a life without want does not exist.
you are strong enough.
i recommend pumpkin seeds- iron, lentils- iron, and 梅干し (ume boshi)-vitamin c, for your health!
p.s. thanks for the "shout-out."
Aaron misses you too. The funny thing is, whenever i fall into a discussion with someone about my being a business student at Michigan, i inevitably find myself describing that there was only one friend i could honestly relate with (saving my sanity).
Aaron misses you too. The funny thing is, whenever i fall into a discussion with someone about my being a business student at Michigan, i inevitably find myself describing that there was only one friend i could honestly relate with (saving my sanity).